Gay Marriage

I've had a lot on my mind lately with the recent election. I was extremely satisfied with our choice of president (more on that later) and extremely happy to see that other freedoms and choices were passed on ballots across the country. I was, however, extremely dismayed at the voter's acceptance of California proposition 8, about banning gay marriage, and to see rights stripped away from fellow human beings. It took this long to for us to propose California proposition 2 that requires farmers to provide enough room to farm animals to turn around. What a level have we stooped to as a nation - we are voting on a piece of paper in 2008 on whether or not animals and humans should be treated humanely!

If you are not as infuriated as I am about this situation, let me explain my background a bit more. Most of you know that I was born in a small town for which there is a special place in my heart. I am incredibly lucky that I can, in fact, always go the the home of my childhood again. Small town America has its charms for sure, however, it's easy to grow up sheltered when your town is lacking in much diversity. Having been born disabled, I learned first hand what it's like to be different. How lucky I was to have friends in my childhood who loved me and accepted me for who I am, especially when most of my peers still hadn't taken the opportunity to learn to accept other people's differences. Let me be clear -- being gay is not a "disability", but being disabled or being gay has sometimes ostracized people like us from their own communities as if it is a Scarlet letter we bear. It is not that we grew up with racist monsters on every corner of our small town. We had plenty of people who loved and accepted us for our differences and had parents, friends and teachers who never put us down but built us up. But when you are called names like "gimpy" or "faggot" by people whom you know so well because your town is so small, it really pours salt in the wound.

When one of my friends came to me in high school and told me that he was different, I cried. I didn't cry because I was embarrassed or ashamed of him or his sexuality. I cried because I knew how much he would have to struggle in high school. I thought growing up and becoming adults would change a lot of this. I thought moving out into the "big bright world" beyond our town would change this. In this election, I have learned that time doesn't change anything and that large cities can be equally cruel. Cruel people in this "big bright world" think that taking away the rights of gay men and women can be decided with a vote.

How is is that the federal equal opportunity law protects against discrimination based on race, religion, disability, gender, national origin, and everything else but leaves it for the states to decide if it's OK to discriminate on sexual orientation? (http://www.eeoc.gov/abouteeo/overview_practices.html) How can a proposition based largely on Christian values be forced onto the rest of the country that is built on the the Bill of Rights which clearly guarantees the freedom of religion FOR ALL PEOPLE? (http://www.archives.gov/exhibits/charters/bill_of_rights_transcript.html) Can it be really true that the cruel people supporting proposition 8 think that freedom of religion means the freedom to choose your sect of Christianity? But I guess they must believe that it's OK to be a bigot if they write it into their state's constitution and use the scripture to support their claims -- never mind how many revisions, omissions and/or translations your state's constitution or the scriptures have been through.

I guess for such Christians, the "Golden Rule: treat others how you would like to be treated" isn't a part of Christianity anymore. What Would Jesus Do? Using the scripture or the Constitution (in this case, of the state of California) to strip others of their freedom to be who they are and choose their own religion is not being a good Christian. I'm so sick of standing by and letting people pretend that it is. I can't imagine one day meeting my maker and telling him/her/it that I thought it was OK to enforce my beliefs on others and treat certain people at a lower standard.

For some of these people the family values are most important and it's a question of the welfare of their children. "But it will be enforced in schools!", they say. Not only did the California Superintendent of Education publicly denounce that myth (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CIL7PUl24hE), imagine what are they teaching their children about treating others. What would they do or expect others to do if their children happen to be gay! Would they turn a blind eye to the discrimination their child will face? When people made fun of me, Peter didn't just stand by and let them. He stood up for me and never once cared about his own reputation. I have never known true friendship like I have with people like him. I refuse to sit on the sidelines and let people take away his freedoms and prevent him from building a loving family. Fifty years ago, it would not have been legal for Pratik and I to be married in some states. If it weren't for Richard and Mildred Loving, an interracial couple who fought the state of Virginia to be together, it would be still illegal. I think everyone needs to read this statement issued by Mrs. Loving right before her death: http://www.freedomtomarry.org/pdfs/mildred_loving-statement.pdf

Some of these people argue that gays will still have the same civil rights as others. I heard (on Mandarin radio here in California) statements like "well, we're not saying they can't live together! They can still have a civil union!" If it's not a big deal, maybe EVERYONE should only have a civil union. If I had known this would happen, I'm not sure I could've gotten married in this state. I'm not sure I could've brought myself to get married. Peter was in the MIDDLE of training for a touring Broadway show and had it written into his contract that he could leave in order to attend my wedding. He wouldn't miss that day for ANYTHING, even the biggest opportunity of his life. What a fool I feel like that I couldn't even defend his rights after how much he celebrated mine.

If you think this has nothing to do with me, a straight woman, you're wrong. It has EVERYTHING to do with me. Because that type of ignorance is a plague that spreads like wildfire, and it's only a matter of time before I see my rights as a disabled woman stripped if this continues. Or my right to marry my husband, who is not a U.S. citizen. Or the freedom to practice whatever religion we like in our own home. It has everything to do with me, because I know what it's like to be treated like I am a plague on society. That I'm not worth anyone's time or that I am an afterthought because I'm different.


If you feel it's wrong to treat ME differently, then I hope you think twice about how you treat the gay community..